After four long years, I returned to my home. I went home to New Orleans. Earlier this month I took a flight up to my city, to my home town. Chalmette, New Orleans, St Bernard and Orleans Parishes. Home for decades long ago stepped away from. Unlike my first return shortly after Katrina, life here was – different would be a good word – muddled would be another. Reality was a mix of echoes of what once was and what now is; the schools, the stores, the new and old places to eat all presented this jury-rigged reality.
Despite the heavy feeling of temporal displacement, I focused on the most important part of my home trip – my family. Seeing my brother and his wife as I came up the ramp in NOLA’s airport – I won’t forget the look on their face as I am sure it was reflected on my own. The look of recognition, of kinship sparked anew. There was a burst of “I miss you,” that quickly flowed into “as if you never left.” That was the tone of the weekend. With every friendship and bond it was as if none of them had ever been tested or weakened by time.
The trip was linked together by chains of feast and fun. I experienced old tastes and new favorites between the restaurants in the city and in “The Parish.” Amongst all of them, family and friends ushered me around. Life was so vibrant, so full. I hungered both for the memories and the feeling of being connected again. Of being in my niche.
Between each visit, each face, each place, I learned a few things about my reality that once was and now is:
First, the Octavian Family still shares a close kinship. Visits with one another are not common as they once were, but when it happens, the fire burns strong. I never doubted that this would come to pass and it is warming to know it still goes on.
Second, we have all grown up to varying degrees. More of us have children, jobs, and structured lives that are far stronger and durable than those we shared as teenagers and young adults. We are grown yet there still remains a spark of our youth. Many of us, including myself, have long to go but all those I saw were on the path.
Third, there is never enough time to be what and where I want to be.
There are many I saw and many more I did not see. I look forward to return trips and seeing these familiar faces. And if any of them happen to find their way over here, remember, my phone number should still be written on the side of Alex’s fridge.
My departure was at the right time. Just long enough to become familiar but not long enough for annoyance. I desperately want to go back already – and I will, given time. For now, I set my sights on current goals while planning for the future.
I miss you, my families. My blood kin and my friendship kin. This one will always be a part of what you are, even if he is not present.
jdiehl
