It’s a paradox of though I’d guess you could say. With my grandmother’s passing last week from cancer and cancer illness to the fact Rodger has beaten his into submission, I’m at a mixture of feeling. They aren’t too far apart in age, with my grandmother being in her late 80′s and Raven’s father being in his mid-80′s. Yet they lived different lives and maybe that’s part of why they each were able to handle their diseases differently.

I really admire my father-in-law. He’s a good man and very sharp. A little rough around the edges but from what I understand he’s mellowed a bit compared to Raven’s youth. Now, he’s a retiree who makes a decent amount playing the stocks, looking after his wife, and doing what he can to make sure his children have a good life. He’s a very good man and I count myself lucky to be able to hear and learn from some of his lessons meant for his children. I love the most the amount of respect he shows to Raven for her hard work, diligence, and treatment of her home business.

My grandmother wasn’t quite that way. She’s always lived with a great deal of stress with much of it generated by her own actions. I dare say when I was still a kid, I didn’t treat her too great. It started to change after I went and came back from college, but truthfully, I wish I had more time to make up for how I treated her when I was a kid. Really wish she had taken up mine and Raven’s offer to have her come move out here. I think she would have been happier here in North Tampa. Away from the rabble and trouble of those houses in Chalmette. Away from family that went back and forth with treatment of her.

Too late now.

I suppose this bit of reflection will help. It’s a rough thinking about my grandmother these days, but besides through text I honestly don’t share much of my feelings openly. Death is one of those things that has encircled my life. From when my mother passed the day I turned five to this recent loss, death and I feel like travelers along the same road. There’s no hatred or love between each of us, just mutual respect.

Death takes, we give.

Such is the price of life.

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