Hiddennode

It’s been an awkward month. Between starting a new game, dealing with family death, shifts in work schedules, and relationship issues, things have been fumbled. I’ve already mentioned the mystical quest the non-exist posts are on, so the blog really shows a reflection of things as they are.

Despite issues, though, I’m pressing on. There’s been a few hiccups but I’m fixing these holes, at least in terms of the fiction writing. As of this post’s writing, the last entries that have appeared on jsamueldiehl.com was on February 4th. To catch up, I’m post-posting these items, so feel free to check the website on the normal Tuesday/Thursdays for new backlog items. I’m actually reaching into my archives for these stories too, so you’re seeing things that have been around for years but no one has ever read.

I’m determined to keep up with two pieces of flash a week for this year. So far, when I’m lagging behind I’ve been able to catch up. Keep with me, and I’ll make sure to keep these stories rolling.

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So, let’s just agree that I totally made posts between the 8^th and today. The other posts are just, erm, on a mystical quest that they may or may not return from. Let’s wish them luck.

So it’s Wednesday again, which means weight and diet talk. February has been a disaster as far as eating right goes. I’m still keeping count of calories, but as far as keep below my goal I’ve been a mess. I blame my tendency to relax my diet during the weekends.

Also, I need to stop bringing change to work. I seem to be too friendly with the vending machine especially since they just stocked up on my favorite candy. Curse you Raisinets and your tasty flavor!

Food Goal this week: Make it through the rest of the week without grabbing a soda or candy at work.

Exercise has also been pretty bad. I still try with the hula hoop, but I haven’t quite got the knack with it yet. I need to spend time this weekend really learning how to use it properly and get active.

I’m starting to realize at this pace I’m going to cost myself extra money for travel expenses in September. The only person I’ve got to blame is me at this time.

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It’s an early Monday again, the last in a series dealing with me and Raven jumping out into the car at nine, rushing to have breakfast, and dropping me off to work at ten. I say the last because after over a year of this cycle, Raven’s dad is finally done with chemo today.

It’s a paradox of though I’d guess you could say. With my grandmother’s passing last week from cancer and cancer illness to the fact Rodger has beaten his into submission, I’m at a mixture of feeling. They aren’t too far apart in age, with my grandmother being in her late 80’s and Raven’s father being in his mid-80’s. Yet they lived different lives and maybe that’s part of why they each were able to handle their diseases differently.

I really admire my father-in-law. He’s a good man and very sharp. A little rough around the edges but from what I understand he’s mellowed a bit compared to Raven’s youth. Now, he’s a retiree who makes a decent amount playing the stocks, looking after his wife, and doing what he can to make sure his children have a good life. He’s a very good man and I count myself lucky to be able to hear and learn from some of his lessons meant for his children. I love the most the amount of respect he shows to Raven for her hard work, diligence, and treatment of her home business.

My grandmother wasn’t quite that way. She’s always lived with a great deal of stress with much of it generated by her own actions. I dare say when I was still a kid, I didn’t treat her too great. It started to change after I went and came back from college, but truthfully, I wish I had more time to make up for how I treated her when I was a kid. Really wish she had taken up mine and Raven’s offer to have her come move out here. I think she would have been happier here in North Tampa. Away from the rabble and trouble of those houses in Chalmette. Away from family that went back and forth with treatment of her.

Too late now.

I suppose this bit of reflection will help. It’s a rough thinking about my grandmother these days, but besides through text I honestly don’t share much of my feelings openly. Death is one of those things that has encircled my life. From when my mother passed the day I turned five to this recent loss, death and I feel like travelers along the same road. There’s no hatred or love between each of us, just mutual respect.

Death takes, we give.

Such is the price of life.

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Sorry for the delay with posting, certain things kept this from appearing on the usual day.

The last week with dieting has been a mixed bag of success and failure. Primarily I failed on Friday and Monday. Friday happened because of ordering out at lunch, dinner, and having a pastry (which is worse because I turned one down that morning but still had one later that evening). Calorie count for Friday was ~2450. Monday failed at dieting but it was a planned failing. It was my anniversary and I knew whatever we did, wherever I went, I was going to be bad.

That’s fine if that’s my one day this month. After that, I need to remain good and loyal to my diet. I’m down to seven months left to lose enough weight to reach my goal of needing only one plane ticket to reach dragon*con.

Frankly, that’s the goal. No weight value, no size value of clothing. Just so long as my fat behind fits in one chair in an airplane, I’m happy. That’ll be over $200.00 in travel expense savings over my planned trip budget.

So now I just have to figure out the size of the seats on the plane I’m riding up in and see how many inches I need to lose to squeeze in.

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My grandmother, Christian Dorothy Daigreponte, passed away earlier today. She went in her sleep after eighty-nine long years of life, love, and hardship. Hers was not a peaceful life, as there were always trials and tribulations. She was not the easiest person to deal with during the twenty-six years I had known her, but one memory I will always have is her unconditional love for her children and grandchildren, despite what troubles she may have had in showing that love.

In the wake of her passing, I hope that a peace can finally come over the issues my family has had these past few years. May my brothers and father find some solace between themselves and let a troubled past lie. I know not what may finally come from this, but I do not wish for any more life trauma to come into their lives or my life.

Whatever there is beyond life, may you find peace.

Justin Diehl